A picture of Gramma and Grampa sits on Noah Henderson’s bedroom desk, right next to a small treasure box holding more pictures, cards, and special keepsakes paying homage to his grandmother.
Among the memorabilia tucked away in that little chest, one of the most meaningful pieces is a three-inch tall puka shell owl gifted Noah by his grandmother when he was only two years old.
His family was moving to Yellowknife for four years, and Gramma said Noah only had to look at the wise little owl to remember how much she loved him. Despite the miles that separated them, he would know she was thinking about him, too.
Well, a few sea shells have broken off the owl through the years, but it’s in pretty good shape – its googly eyes remarkably still intact, said Noah. And that special figurine still serves somewhat the same purpose today – but now, the distance can’t be measured in miles and this 11-year-old Brookswood boy can’t simply pick up the phone and chat with his grandmother.
Noah had to say goodbye to Gramma too soon, and he’s now using his experiences with grief to help other kids facing similar situations.
In honour of his Gramma, Noah is doing all he can to spread the word at his school, within his scout troop, and even to his friends and neighbours about Langley Hospice, and specifically their Paint the Town Blue campaign happening Thursday, Nov. 15.
The third Thursday of November is Children’s Grief Awareness Day, and in addition to hosting an open house at the hospice outreach centre on 48th Avenue from 3:30 to 6 p.m. Thursday – which Noah and his family plan to attend – there’s been a lot of work by volunteers like Noah to engage the community in a fun blue light awareness effort.
Residents, schools, and businesses in Langley have been invited to turn on a blue light for the entire day Thursday, to help draw attention to grieving children and youth in the community.
Noah knows this reality all too well.
About a year after his family moved back to Langley, when Noah was only six, his Gramma was diagnosed with a rare form of kidney cancer in December 2013. Less than a year later she was gone.
“It was a long hard road for us,” said Noah’s mom, Nicola Haddock. “It still is.”
But neither the little boy, nor his parents, realized the impact the loss of Gramma (Deborah Haddock) was having on their family, and especially Noah.
“She was always very present in his life,” Haddock said, noting that even when Noah was young, and the family was living in the Northwest Territories, the toddler would call or Skype with Gramma almost daily.
For the young boy, this was a “significant loss” that was manifesting itself in outbursts and aggressiveness at school.
It took counsellors at Langley Hospice to help the family realize how their sadness and anger were permeating their daily lives – especially for Noah.
And it was the children’s bereavement team that helped the most by giving him a safe place to talk and mourn, provided him with some tools to manage his stress, and offered some meaningful ways for him to remember the loved one he lost.
“It’s helped us out as a family so significantly,” Haddock said. “It’s the way they approach children’s grief, especially… it’s amazing.”
Even four years later, Noah and his family are still grieving, including his seven-year-old little brother, Cole and his father, Trevor.
And that’s okay, said Mom, who (holding back tears) explained how she and her son were both rocked to the core by the loss – because Gramma was such a constant figure in their lives.
Last year, to show his appreciation to Langley Hospice, Noah and fellow cub member Ethan (who also lost his grandmother) held a month-long door-to-door change drive and hosted a GoFundMe campaign that raised about $1,300 for the non-profit organization.
“We were surprised,” Noah said. “I didn’t think we’d raise that much. We got a lot more than we expected… I think they’re a good cause… They have helped me a lot, since I was about seven years old.”
And while Noah has graduated from the counselling program at hospice, he’s still involved in their frequent day and summer camps, and is now old enough to start training as a junior leader. He’s excited about sharing his knowledge and experience with his peers and anxious to help.
“I can come in and basically just help out,” including with initiatives such as the Paint the Town Blue campaign.
That said, there are still bad days.
Sadly, he explained, Gramma never had a chance to see him play ball hockey, or do a number of other firsts. But he’ll always remember Gramma’s cooking, her smiling face on the soccer field sidelines, and “the way she just did everything to make me happy.”
If he feels the memories of Gramma are starting to fade, he just has to look at the puka shell owl or turn on a blue light and the recollections of their time together are instantly rekindled.
