John Westhaver brought a powerful yet unusual message to approximately 600 students on Wednesday: his face.
In a gripping presentation at the Langley Events Centre, Westhaver told the Grade 10, 11 and 12 R. E. Mountain Secondary students how a poor decision he made when he was 18 left him with burns to 75 per cent of his body, and a disfigured face.
On April 29, 1994, Westhaver was “your typical teenage guy. I loved to party. I loved to get drunk and have a good time.”
Sure, he had read about people dying in accidents, but that was always about other people.
“I thought nothing would ever happen to me.”
But something happened that would change his life forever.
Westhaver, then 18, went out with his friends that fateful night in New Brunswick.
“We managed to get some alcohol and headed to the pool hall.”
They had a designated driver. He was sober.
“We thought that nothing can possibly happen.”
Westhaver got into the front passenger seat of a 1970 Chev Impala. His best friend, Jason, climbed in the back seat with another friend, Aaron.
Jimmy was sober. He drove. Trouble was, he didn’t know the road. As he drove, his friends laughed and drank and turned the stereo up way too loud. And the more they talked and drank and listened to the music, the faster Jimmy drove.
Half way back to their homes, Jimmy was going at 140 km/h. The speed limit was 90 km/h. At a sharp corner of the road, he lost control. The car skidded, hit a ditch and rolled. Jimmy was thrown out with such force that when he hit the pavement he died instantly.
The car continued to roll, hit a power pole and burst into flames.
Jason and Aaron were trapped in the back seat. A bystander picked up the branch of a tree and extended it towards Jason, hoping that he would grab on to it and be pulled out.
Jason grabbed it, but he was trapped. Then he lost his grip.
Jason and Aaron burned to death.
“Jason was my best friend. Wherever he was, I was. When they told me he was killed, a part of me died.”
Westhaver spent the next two and a half months in hospital, and described the daily change of dressings as “the worst pain of my life.”
He suffered first and fourth degree burns to three-quarters of his body, has endured countless surgeries and faces more operations in the coming years.
For all his suffering, Westhaver is a confident man who accepts himself just the way he is.
“I look different,” he says. “I look good. It’s taken me a long time to get there.”
But he had to look in the mirror first.
When he was roused from a drug-induced coma, hospital staff would not allow him to look at his face in the mirror.
When he did, “I just wanted to die. I just wanted to die.
“I thought my face was destroyed. I thought I was ugly. I thought, ‘who would want to look at me? Who would ever love me like this?’ “
There was the humiliation and embarrassment of having nurses take care of his hygiene.
“I was an 18-year-old, 240 lb wrestler. Why should I have to call the nurse in to wipe me after using the washroom?”
More humiliation was to come when he ventured outside.
“The hardest part was being stared at. I didn’t like the way I looked. I thought that I was ugly. I thought that I was broken. I thought that I was destroyed.”
Over time, as he learned to accept himself, he returned stares with a smile, introduced himself, and explained why he looked like that.
These occasions give him the opportunity to emphasize the importance of making choices. And, he told the Mountain students, the choices are simple: Never drive after they have been in an argument with a friend or family member.
Clear your head first because when you’re angry and frustrated, you’re not thinking about the road.
Never get in a car with a driver who has been drinking, don’t speed, and forget about road racing.
Always wear a seat belt. Do not use your cellphone — in the 15 seconds it takes to compose and send a text, you’ve travelled the equivalent of a football field without looking at the road.
“It’s simple to make the right choice,” Westhaver told the students, conceding that “it’s not always easy.”
Westhaver is now married and lives in Victoria. A public speaker, he is part of ICBC’s road safety tour.
His presentation was sponsored by the Township’s engineering department, ICBC and Langley RCMP.