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Ryan’s Regards: Where have all the colours gone?

The strange ‘decline’ of vehicle shapes, sizes, and styles is disheartening to this columnist
Langley Good Times Cruise-In. (Aldergrove Star files)

My girlfriend drives a bright yellow Chevy Spark.

You may have seen it zipping around Langley; it certainly sticks out.

Co-workers have grinned and gawked at me as I’ve rolled up in it – forced to drive the bright little beast when my car has gone into the shop.

People, on numerous occasions, have remarked that the car “sure is bright” or they’ve even come up just to ask what colour the vehicle is.

Every time that happens, we have to laugh because both of us drop our jaws to the floor whenever we seen a beautiful, bright striped Chevy from the 1950s down the road.

I have to stop whatever I’m doing and aggressively point out any wood-panelled station wagon that looks like the one from the Vacation movies.

I dwell on this trivial change more often than I should, but what happened to the way vehicles look?

I know I sound cranky, enacting the infamous “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” phrase, but I am generally curious why this shift occurred.

Now, I’m not necessarily a “car guy,” but hands down, the best part about living here, is getting to see all the old classics cruise around; I missed the Cruise-In this year as well as the pop up Show n’ Shine.

There’s just something so pleasantly nostalgic about near-neon paint jobs.

I’m talking power blues and cherry reds, cream-coloured leather interiors. Fins! Stripes! Long hoods with straight edges. Something that plays Elvis Presley without the radio even being turned on.

Most vehicles today have a more rounded curvature to them, which I understand has developed overtime due to safety - but there’s something just unappealing about that bubbly design.

There is no more style on the inside either because all of the attention goes towards the big central computer screens that are coming equipped in every car nowadays.

READ MORE: RYAN’S REGARDS: Love in the time of Corona

But the worst crime is colour. Can anyone honestly tell me that when they are on the road, they marvel at the sea of greys and blacks and whites that are clogging up the streets?

When and why did we get so boring? So void of boldness!

Were our spirits crushed somewhere along the way and everyone embraced flat, dark colours to reflect their moods?

Really! I wasn’t around when this switch happened so I really would like to know!

Some have told me conservatism from a decades old recession lead to the popularization of bland colours, because it ensured a better re-sale value.

Others claim bolder paint jobs have simply gotten too expensive.

I know I’m one to talk; my Murano is more of a indistinguishable grey-green. But when she finally goes, I’ll be hunting for the most eye-popping rainbow on the market.

So, with the new local arrival of Tesla and the future imminently going gas-less, with many countries setting a target date to eliminate these types of cars, I fear were going to get more and more bland.

Some may call them “modern” or “sleek,” but it looks too much like a grim robotic space odyssey future to get excited about for me.

You want me to buy an electric vehicle? Make it something different. Make it a Preston Tucker special. Make it unique and hopeful!

Who’s with me? I can’t be the only one. Bring back colourful cars for a better tomorrow!

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